Thursday, July 18, 2013

I did it!

Not everyone knows about my anxiety issues. Some days I forget about them and some days it's impossible to forget or ignore.

Anyways, I've had my permit twice in my life. Once, I let it expire because I wasn't ready to try for my license. I had it the second time up until July 15th.

July 15th, 2013, at age 27 and 6 months, I got my driver's license. For any normal person, it's hard to understand why it took me so long. For me, it was one of the biggest days of my life, aside from meeting Tyler and having my babies. It was probably one of my biggest, best accomplishments.

I get shit all the time about not driving. No one really, truly gets why I didn't WANT to drive or how I've made it this long without driving. Friends and family have always given me grief about it, without asking WHY I didn't get my license. Funny how someone can have such a strong opinion about something, yet doesn't bother to ask my reasoning behind it. If more of them had just asked, they may have understood what I was going through, instead they judged and ridiculed me, which was just discouraging.

A few close friends, my mom, and Tyler are probably the only people who cared enough to let me explain my side. They cared enough to encourage me when I went to them READY to take this on.

Beth was my savior in this adventure. Her daughter got her license and she posted on Facebook about it. I saw the post and it sparked something in me....It just clicked. I knew I was ready. My permit would have expired on August 11th, 6 months from the day I passed my permit test and I was running out of time.

I asked Beth to take me driving. With the permit, I had to have a licensed adult over 25 in the car while I practiced driving. I knew she'd be perfect because I'm comfortable around her, she can stand the cussing that I was sure would happen, she loves and can handle my kids (who would be along for the ride), and she was available. She agreed and Tyler left the car for me (he's brave!). Friday morning we drove all over Berryville and around Eureka. Before this, I had driven as far as the preschool and that was about it. Besides around Tulare and Visalia here and there, years ago.

Anyways, after just a few minutes of driving, I knew I could handle this. I knew it was time for me to get my license. I wasn't scared anymore. I wasn't worrying myself sick. I wasn't freaking myself out anymore.

So, we drove for awhile on Friday and made a date for Monday morning for more driving. I thought Wednesday would be a good day to take my road test, but after being in the car Monday, I went for it! We stopped at the gas station in Eureka and got the kids Sprites and chips to snack on with Beth while Carley and I went with the deputy. I was a little nervous, but knew it was the right time.

There was a bit of insurance shit for me to figure out once I got there. Got that straightened out, thanks to the awesome B at Nationwide. Once that was done, I went downstairs, got signed in, and we headed out to the parking lot. The kids and Beth went and found a shady spot and he told me to move the car to the lower part of the parking lot. Went and parked and he had me do the signals, hazard lights, honk the horn, etc. He also told me to turn on the bright lights. I laughed and said "I am not even going to pretend to know how to do that." He showed me how to turn them on and then went through the other stuff again and asked me again how to turn them on. He said "I'll just pretend like you knew it the first time I asked you." Works for me!

Got in the car, headed out (remembered to stop before pulling out of the parking lot, unlike a friend's son LOL) and we were on our way! I even remembered to breath. We headed out into Eureka. I was thinking we'd go downtown but nope, just turned as if we were, he told me to pull into the parking lot, go around and come back out. Easy peasy. Then, we headed right back. He talked the whole time about how he had a boat for sale, no one wanted it, he decided to take it on vacation and someone wanted to buy it. I said something about how I have given up on selling our house and he said "Nope. Just know, it's going to happen. Soon. It'll happen just like this. You've given up, so now you'll have a buyer. Just watch." I sure hope he's right.

We were only gone for a couple minutes. It was so calm and I wasn't nervous at all. Carley cried for just a second and I apologized and he said "She's fine. She can't hurt me from locked in that seat." True. Unless you need your hearing.

Got back and he said "Park between those two cop cars." I said "I suck at parking." He said, "I don't care. Pull in there and we'll pretend like you did a good job." LOL I did just that. Parked crooked as hell.

He said I looked comfortable and not nervous at all. What.a.relief.

I was seriously in shock. I went straight to the revenue office and got my license! I wish I'd been prepared for having my picture taken, though. I didn't even do anything with my hair and I had purple eyeliner on! Oh well.

I immediately took a picture of my license and sent it to Tyler. Of course, he didn't respond right away lol....Typical.

So, here I am, 27 years old and I finally have my license. I don't  care what anyone else thinks or what they have to say anymore...I'm damn proud of myself.

I even drove to the health dept. the next day. BY MYSELF. First time in my life.


  1. That's awesome, congrats on getting your licenses!!

  2. Congratulations!!! I know that is a huge accomplishment for you!


Our babies

Our babies
May 2013